what is

Today has been one of   t h o s e  days. I've been fighting off some kind of cold or feeling some kind of allergy lately. Waking up with a sore throat, a nagging headache. Nothing awful, but enough to throw me off my game.

Throw in there a little dose of back to school stress.  See, a few years back I was feeling the stay at home mom guilt big-time. I had managed the auctions, helped out in the library. I was ready for a new challenge, so I conned convinced a friend of mine to co-lead our Art Literacy program.  Fast forward three years, and here I am, entrenched in a volunteer job that is rewarding at times, frustrating at others.  This morning was one of those frustrating times.

And let's not forget the darn weather. I don't know what is up with the weather patterns, but it has been muggy here in Oregon. And I'm not gonna lie - I am a humidity wimp. I hate it. I already sweat like a teenage dude holding a girl's hand for the first time when I run.  (Okay, it's a lot worse than that.) This morning felt like a sauna at 7 am, and I wasn't going to be free to run until at least 10.

So with this nice little storm of negatives, I did what came naturally - I cancelled today's run. And then I proceeded to fret about it. Second guess myself. Drum up every reason why missing today's run was going to lead to ultimate failure for every goal I've ever had in life. Ugh.

I don't know what you do when you start to feel this way, but I like to make goal lists.  Write down those things I'd like to accomplish in the next 6 months, just to make myself feel productive.  Three goals later, I stopped. Turned my pencil around. And erased them all.

And I wrote this.

"Live in the moment."

'Cause the moment was telling me not to run. The moment was telling me that there is more to life than running every day, eating perfectly and ticking off every to-do item on my list. The moment said to accept what is, and leave it at that.

And then I actually felt lighter.  It is okay to take an extra day off.  It is okay to eat that piece of pie for dessert, or to run easy when you have 250 - 400s at 5k pace listed on your workout sheet. It's okay to curl up on the couch with your kids and watch Spongebob or to spend the afternoon listening to the leaves rustle on the deck. The workout will be there. It always is.