life gets in the way

I had to pull my entry to the Autumn Leaves 50 miler.

:*(

But I've got a family, and that family has taken up sport in the past six months, and all of their sporting events fell smack dab in the middle of the race.  I'm a mom first, runner second.

I know there will be other 50 mile races to run.  Well, survive, anyways!

custom marathon bib, baby

As I picked up my marathon number this morning, I couldn't help but feel a little sad.  One of the coolest things about the Portland Marathon is that if you sign up early enough, you can have your name printed on your bib so that spectators can cheer for you.  It's incredibly energizing to hear strangers screaming your name as you go by.

My decision to run Portland was a late one - a spur of the moment, fly by the seat of your pants type deal that I hatched after running a great 17 miler with my awesome running buddy, who has been signed up for Portland since last December. 

Boy, did that empty space look, well...empty.

Not to worry, I thought - I'll just get a sharpie at home and put @runnerteri or something like that.  Thus appeased, we proceeded to check out the rest of the expo.

Wouldn't you know it, but two legends of marathon happened to be upstairs - Frank Shorter and Jeff Galloway.  Now Frank Shorter is one badass dude - in the 1972 Olympics, he ran the 10k and earned 5th place, and then turned around and WON A GOLD MEDAL in the marathon.  That's my kind of crazy! 

So yes, I about died when he not only signed my bib but made a custom design on it.

Legend Frank Shorter signing my bib

Best marathon bib ever!!

the run i did not take today

I can feel the run I did not take today in my legs.  The steady pounding, step after step, as I climb the hill past the church, passing the squirrels busy making their winter nests.

I can feel the cool damp air on my face, smell fall’s onward approach in the undertones of the earth.

Whisper, whisper…I listen to the leaves dancing under my feet.

Gliding down the hill, I see the trees showing off their new colors, standing sentinel along the streets where I run.

All of this would have happened, only I did not run today.

The run I didn’t take today will make me stronger.

In three short days, I will run my seventh marathon.

I will return to the scene of the crime.

Portland 2007 was my first marathon.  I did not train enough.  I chose not to take so many runs that I was miserable by mile 13.  By mile 18, I learned that even walking hurts when you haven’t trained enough.  By mile 26.2, I knew that I loved this pain, this accomplishment, this pride.

My legs are ready.

My heart is ready.

My mind is ready.

And so today I rest.  I dream.  I plan.  I wait.

put down that running magazine and decide what matters to you

Skim through any running magazine on the market, and you will find plenty of advice about how to run your fastest race ever.  Is this really a surprise? Learning to run faster requires the purchase of many things - from coaching services to expert books, from lighter shoes to high tech gels and electrolytes designed for top performance.  Running fast is sexy, or at least we are led to think that way.  The running industry may be built on our desire to improve our health and wellbeing, but it grows larger on our insecurities that we are not doing it well enough.

You don't have to buy in to this nonsense.

Think back to why you started running in the first place.  Most of us did not take up running because we wanted to start building a list of PRs.  We started running to lose weight, to find clarity, to take charge of our health, to seek happiness.  Good reasons, all.  None of these ultimate goals require us to push harder and harder at every race if we don't want to.  They can be accomplished by simply running happy - at whatever pace our bodies suggest is comfortable to us.

I am not saying that you should never try to run fast and get a PR.  For some people, the drive to make improvement is what brings them joy.  But we should never buy in to anyone else's idea about what matters in running.  We should define for ourselves what constitutes a great race.  Is it doing our best that day?  Enjoying the experience?  Connecting with friends?

For me, what matters in running is enjoying the experience that day.  Some days that might mean that I am letting loose and letting my legs fly.  Other days I'm chatting with friends and petting the livestock along the course.  Through it all, I try to keep a smile on my face and the love of running in my heart.  The races when I become too focused on how I am doing versus the clock are the races that I look at as being poor - even when I am running as fast as ever - because those are the races I cannot remember.

What matters to you in your running?