beginner mind

In zen, there is a concept of beginner's mind; it is zen in action.  In essence, it is the state of your mind when you drop your preconceptions, your expectations, your thoughts about what you know - you are just present to explore and observe, like a child. Or perhaps you are a child - I don't know.  I only surf the edges of zen, so I will not pretend to understand what it all means.

But I do know that I have been having my own beginner mind running moments lately.

A running buddy and I finally had a chance to meet up with the local trail running group, Trail Factor, for their Tuesday night runs.  In the dark.  On the trail.  With only my lowly headlamp to guide me.  The first run went pretty good.  I fell back a bit, but mostly I kept up.

Not so the second time.

They dropped me in five minutes flat.  Gone.  Just me, and the roots, and the dark, spooky night on the trail.  I thought about the one scene of Grimm I have watched this season - the first one, where the girl gets attacked by the werewolf creature while she's running.  (Consequently, I am pretty sure that scene was filmed in Tryon Creek - one of the parks I like to trail run in. Well, at least I used to!! Ha.)  I thought about all the times I have fallen in the daylight on the trail.  I wondered if anyone would miss me if I never showed up.

But mostly, I thought about how little I know about trail running.  How to land softly.  How to relax and flow down the hills.  How to run with confidence.  How to take the hills.  I realized that for all the running I think I have done, I have so much more to learn.

I thought about how I was the slowest one in the group, and I was giving it a solid effort.  I thought about how I wanted to work at it, and learn it, and get better on those trails.

I realized that I look forward to these Tuesday night runs because they challenge me to grow as a runner.  I will get faster; I will learn to keep up.

Thankfully, one of my running buddies found me on the trail that night.  We ran the rest of the way together, catching up as running buddies do.  But I did not lose that sense of beginner mind that I found that night on the trail.  It is with me still, and it has energized me in a way that nothing else has in a long time.

Have you had a moment when you realized that for all you know about running or triathlon, there is still so much more to learn?  Did it energize your training and racing?

time lapse photography...again

I know, I know. I am a total sucker for time lapse photography. But this one features all Oregon locations - and if there is something I love more than time lapse photography, it is my home state.


Finding Oregon from Uncage the Soul Productions on Vimeo.

is it time for an identity crisis?

Think about all of the labels you give yourself.  What are some of them?

Are you a runner?  A triathlete?  An ultrarunner?

What about the negative labels?

Are you not a runner?  Are you an inept cyclist?  Are you an old dog who can't learn any new tricks?  Do you resist calling yourself an athlete?

It just might be time for an identity crisis.  A recent talk given at the 2011 Neuroleadership Summit in San Francisco suggested that giving yourself an identity crisis just might be the best way to improve your personal performance.

The focus of that talk was on business and company performance, but the observations (as summarized by Mitch Watson of the HBR Blog Network) apply to sports performance as well. 

"A simple model for understanding the link between identity, brain, and their effect on performance goes something like this: 1) identity drives motivation, 2) motivation drives action, and 3) action drives results. For example, if someone speeds past you at 90 miles an hour on the highway, odds are you won't chase them down and issue a ticket. The reason for this is that you don't have an identity in your brain of 'I am a policeman.'

 A policeman, on the other hand, has that identity, takes action (chases you), and gets the result (issues a ticket). Look at every activity you perform in life and there is an always an identity directly behind it."

If you don't identify as a runner, you probably aren't going to run with any consistency.  Given the choice of running on a cold, wet day or curling up by the fire, the non-runner is far more likely to choose the warm, dry option.  After all, you aren't a runner, right?

For lasting change, we have to think differently about who we are.  It is not enough to just want to be an ultrarunner; I must think of myself as an ultrarunner first, and then let my actions follow that identity.  If I want to become a triathlete, I must think of myself as a triathlete, rather than just wanting to be one and hoping for the best.  This would explain why actually signing up for a race is a much better motivation for training than just casually taking on some of the training elements of any given race.

A positive identity of our self as a runner can also assist us on race day.  If we fail to truly identify ourselves as a being capable of what we are trying to do, we run the risk of a meltdown on race day:

"Have you ever been in a meeting where you're carrying an individual identity of, "I am an expert on this topic," and someone erodes that identity by challenging your point? What happens? From a neuroscience standpoint your brain shifts into a "fight or flight" limbic response and for a time you can't even think straight. All of the resources (namely oxygen and glucose) that were being dedicated to your thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) have now been diverted to your emotional brain (the limbic system) and for a moment your ability to function effectively in your job is greatly impaired."

When the race gets hard and we doubt our own ability to do what we have set out to do, we can hit the wall just as hard as if we had not taken in enough calories.  Rather than tell yourself, "I am not a runner - who do I think I am!" when the going gets tough, it would be far more powerful and helpful to your neurological system to affirm to yourself that "yes, I am a runner, and I can do this". It isn't just positive affirmation mumbo-jumbo; this is actual neuroscience that can help.

After reading and digesting this information, I realize I am ready to chuck the identity that says "I am a mentally weak runner" (and trust me, I use that one a lot) and I am ready to take on the "I am a tough ultrarunner" identity in 2012.

So what identities are you ready to shed?  Which identities would you like to take on?  I'd love to hear!