In zen, there is a concept of beginner's mind; it is zen in action. In essence, it is the state of your mind when you drop your preconceptions, your expectations, your thoughts about what you know - you are just present to explore and observe, like a child. Or perhaps you are a child - I don't know. I only surf the edges of zen, so I will not pretend to understand what it all means.
But I do know that I have been having my own beginner mind running moments lately.
A running buddy and I finally had a chance to meet up with the local trail running group, Trail Factor, for their Tuesday night runs. In the dark. On the trail. With only my lowly headlamp to guide me. The first run went pretty good. I fell back a bit, but mostly I kept up.
Not so the second time.
They dropped me in five minutes flat. Gone. Just me, and the roots, and the dark, spooky night on the trail. I thought about the one scene of Grimm I have watched this season - the first one, where the girl gets attacked by the werewolf creature while she's running. (Consequently, I am pretty sure that scene was filmed in Tryon Creek - one of the parks I like to trail run in. Well, at least I used to!! Ha.) I thought about all the times I have fallen in the daylight on the trail. I wondered if anyone would miss me if I never showed up.
But mostly, I thought about how little I know about trail running. How to land softly. How to relax and flow down the hills. How to run with confidence. How to take the hills. I realized that for all the running I think I have done, I have so much more to learn.
I thought about how I was the slowest one in the group, and I was giving it a solid effort. I thought about how I wanted to work at it, and learn it, and get better on those trails.
I realized that I look forward to these Tuesday night runs because they challenge me to grow as a runner. I will get faster; I will learn to keep up.
Thankfully, one of my running buddies found me on the trail that night. We ran the rest of the way together, catching up as running buddies do. But I did not lose that sense of beginner mind that I found that night on the trail. It is with me still, and it has energized me in a way that nothing else has in a long time.
Have you had a moment when you realized that for all you know about running or triathlon, there is still so much more to learn? Did it energize your training and racing?
Wow, running in the dark on trails just for giggles is bad ass. I love it. :)
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience when I joined a group for a few runs last year. Inside 400 metres I realised that I was the slowest and there was nothing I could do to change this on the day. So I used my time well by observing the other runners, their style and their gear. Learning, learning, learning.
ReplyDeleteAlways in a state of learning no matter what. Its nice to hear when others are as well! I fully believe there is something valuable you can learn from everyone that you come in to contact with. I'm sure its only a matter of time til you're a master at it. I think back to my first day of trying running and think wow haha. Amazing how bad form could be and how far its come.
ReplyDeletegreat post, I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes when you run with people on hills and they are good. You can feel like a total beginner.
The bright side is that as you said, you can learn a lot.
I know I have a lot to learn and that make this sport so speciall. Bcos you are always learning ...
Un abrazo
Christmas day, two years ago I went running with the "cool kids" of our trail running club. They didn't announce this run on the website it was on the down-low. So, I felt cool, but then I was by far the slowest one there to do their "easy" 10 miler. It ended up being around eight minute miles for 13 miles and I had only been running a year. I hung on for dear life and just enjoyed the suffering. I figured that it if it hurt to run that pace, I might as well push a little harder to see how much worse it hurt. So, I would go to the very front for a few miles and then kind of petered out for the last few miles. It made me suck it up to run with those guys and it made me faster and tougher.
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